Is Masturbation ok?
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Masturbation is probably one of the most hotly debated subjects and yet, despite so much debate the answer to the question "Is it ok?" often seems to allude us. Part of the reason for this is that the Bible itself does not speak clearly on it. You can search every verse from Genesis to Revelation, but you'll soon find that the phrase "Thou shalt not masturbate" does not appear. So where does this leave us? Is it ok or not? People must've been masturbating in the days the Bible was written and yet for some reason God chooses not to speak about. I hardly think that God was embarrassed to talk about it bearing in mind that the Bible talks a lot about sex.

So when faced with a dilemna like this we have to take a more rounded look at what the Bible says about sexuality, lust and how we treat our bodies. By doing this we will find some helpful principals. Remember though that these are just principals. You may disagree with them. You may feel that they still do not answer the question. But read on and let's see where we end up!Before we jump into the Bible lets get real for a second. As we grow up through puberty some pretty significant changes start to happen. Now fear not!

I'm not about to break into a Biology lesson. The point here is that as we journey through puberty, our sexual awareness and drive increases exponentially. This is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, not only is it natural, it's actually God-given. God created sex, our sex drive and sexual attraction. Check out the story of Adam and Eve if you don't believe me!

Many young people are committed to keeping themselves from having sexual intercourse until they are married. We believe that this is God's standard and best for sex and is a brilliant thing to commit to. For more information on this, check out our lifestyle issue on 'sexuality' for reasons why God says 'wait until marriage'.

But how do you cope with an increasing sex drive and a commitment to wait for sex until marriage? Surely this is a recipe for enormous frustration!! To cope with this, many men and women find masturbation to be a helpful release of sexual tension. They argue that surely its better to masturbate on occasion and releave the sexual urge, rather than having sex with someone else before you get married. It seems like a fair point!

So what are some of those Biblical principals we alluded to?

There are two issues we have to deal with when it comes to the subject of masturbation.

Firstly, the issue of lust. The Bible clearly encourages us to fill our minds with good things. Philippians 4:8 tells us "...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things". Pornography and fantasy are usually the most common stimulators for masturbation. This could be through watching pornographic films or looking at magazines or internet sites, or simply fantasising in our minds that we are having sex with someone. Not only does this not meet the Philippians 4:8 criteria (and believe me, it doesn't - please don't call pornography lovely and admirable!!) but more importantly, Jesus warns us that lusting after something, in His eyes, is just the same as doing it (Matthew 5:28-29)! Yes, I realise that Jesus is sounding pretty tough here but remember He was a radical. The point here is that if we are masturbating whilst viewing pornography or fantasising about having sex, then God says that this is just the same as doing it as far as he is concerned. You might think this sounds unreasonable but chew it over for a second. God says that sex is best kept for marriage. You agree and commit yourself to wait. Yet you spend lots of time dreaming about having sex. Doesn't really equate does it. If you want to wait until marriage for sex then filling your mind with thoughts of having sex is really not helpful. That's the point that Jesus is making here. So I would say that masturbation with any form of pornography or fantasy is off limits.

Now some people will argue that it is impossible to masturbate without some kind of vivid fantasy or stimulant. I have a lot of sympathy with this view actually. For example, I can't see a lot of boys masturbating whilst thinking of a fridge. I am not being flippant here, I just recognise that usually our minds are filled with sexual thoughts when it comes to masturbation. Having said this, I am also aware of some people who feel that they can masturbate without lusting over porn or fantasising. So my reflection is simply this: If you are able to masturbate without your mind being consumed with sexual fantasies, or your eyes looking at pornography, then I wouldn't say that your masturbation is sin and I don't believe the Bible would condemn it. It's simply a means of reducing built up tension. That's a BIG 'IF' though!!! And only you know whether you can.

However, there's one more thing we need to consider. You might be someone who is able to masturbate without lusting or fantasizing in any way, and therefore are now feeling that you're ok to continue masturbating free from concerns of sin, due to what I've said in the previous paragraph. But there's one more thing to consider. And that is the subject of addiction. Addiction is a compulsive behaviour that is more in control of you than you are of it. Masturbation can end up like this and people can get addicted to masturbation. It can consume their life. This is not helpful both physically or emotionally. The issue is not about whether you will go blind but about the fact that you've lost control of yourself. Your sex drive is in control of you. God challenges us in the Bible to stay in control of our bodies and not have it the other way around (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). God wants us to be free from addiction so if masturbation becomes addictive we need to get some help - from others and from God. Above all, God wants to be number one in our lives - not because He is on some big power trip - but simply because, as our Creator, He knows whats best for us and wants to help us live life to the max. Addictions always take God off the top spot in our lives.

So it would seem that the Bible's criteria for allowing masturbation is extremely slim. I would suggest that non-addictive, non-fantasy and non-lust driven masturbation could not be classed as sin. If you tick those boxes you might feel ok to masturbate from time to time for the purposes of reducing stress and tension.

But let me end with three final thoughts.

Firstly, if you've found that you've been masturbating addictively and/or with the use of fantasy and/or pornography be assured that God isn't about to zap you with fire and brimstone. If you're willing to admit this is not good for you, and that God's view is right, then God will forgive and forget your past when you honestly admit you've got it wrong.

Secondly, God really can help you deal with this issue. Perhaps a better response to using masturbation as a curb on our sexual frustrations, is to instead ask God for more of His Holy Spirit to help us overcome the need to masturbate and have a healthy self control over our sexual appetite. You won't die if you don't masturbate! Is it possible that God is able to help us get through life without ever having to masturbate? I'm pretty sure He can - if we're really serious about having His help. We just need to keep Him involved in our struggles. Every hour of every day. Talking to Him in prayer. Being honest.

Finally, although it might be really difficult why not see if you can find someone you can talk face to face with about this stuff. Someone who can help you stay accountable to keep this area of your life in check.

Well those are my thoughts. We've started a discussion trail on this issue in the message board. Feel free to agree or disagree. Let us know what you think.